Warrior Swears
I wanted to do a funny thing after He Never Saw The Light Of Day, so here it is! This is a warriors version of Wizard Swears by Potter Puppet Pals.--Shaf Girl 03:45, 17 October 2008 (UTC) (Graypaw and Sandpaw are lying around because it's a hot greeleaf day and there's nothing to do) Firepaw: Guys! Bluestar told me a list of words that are banned from ThunderClan. I didn't know warriors had swears. Sandpaw: Of course they do, Firepaw! They're called Warrior Swears. Graypaw: Oooo, like kittypet fighter! Firepaw: Really? That's adorable! Sandpaw: Oh, they're worse than that. Tell us some, Firepaw. Firepaw: Let's see here. Son of a badger. That's useful. Sandpaw: Leap and pounce, that's my favorite. Tigerclaw: (cough) Do my ears detect foul mouthness? Sandpaw: Oh no, Tigerclaw-- Firepaw: Scourge's milk! Tigerclaw: Excuse me?! Sandpaw: Firepaw! (shoves Firepaw with her paw) Tigerclaw: I refuse to have this crowfood spat in my presence, kittypet. 500,000 hunting duties for you and your friends. Graypaw: Fox bogies! (everyone looks at him) Firepaw: Everybody run. Expecto Rogue! (apprentices run away) Tigerclaw: (sigh) Prey rousers. (apprentices giggle) Firepaw: Oh, that was fun. Oh, hi, Ravenpaw. Ravenpaw: Hello, Firepaw, Sandpaw, Graypaw. What's up, guys? Graypaw: We're saying starry naughty words like Jiggle the Rats! Ravenpaw: (gasp) The queens forbid me from saying bad language. Firepaw: Well, the queens are all bad-breathed dogs. Ravenpaw: (gasp) Sandpaw: He doesn't mean it, Ravenpaw. He's just testing out some Warrior Swears. Firepaw: I mean every word I ever say, ever, because I am Firepaw. (thunder sound effects XD) Ravenpaw: (begins to walk away) I'm telling Bluestar. Graypaw: You're such a birch-head! Ravenpaw: This is against the warrior code! Firepaw: (stands in his way) I can't let you do this, Ravenpaw. Ravenpaw: (backs up) Oh, no. No, no. I don't want to swear, no, the queens wouldn't let me swear, no... Firepaw: (stands in his way again) Are you from ThunderClan or not, Ravenpaw? Ravenpaw: I am ThunderClan, but, but-- Firepaw: Try it, then! Here's the list. (whispers the list) Say anything. Ravenpaw: (stammers) Sandpaw: You can do it, Ravenpaw. Ravenpaw: (stammers more) Whitestorm's...behind... Graypaw and Sandpaw: Yay! Firepaw: You sicken me! Ravenpaw: But, but, it's on the list-- Firepaw: Whitestorm is ten times the tom you'll ever be, Ravenpaw! Ravenpaw: (shrinks down) Firepaw: Leave ThunderClan, Ravenpaw. Never come back. Ravenpaw: (walks away) Graypaw and Sandpaw: Yay! Sandpaw: You're quite the hero today, Firepaw. Graypaw: Yeah, you're filled with tomish attitude. Firepaw: Hey, let's go bother someone! (the apprentices sneak up on Brokenstar) Brokenstar: Who are you? Firepaw: Leopard urine! Brokenstar: What?! You apprentices! If I ever find out who's talking to me, I will tell the leaders and you will go into exile, and I will kill you! (the apprentices giggle) Tigerclaw: (comes with Bluestar) There they are. (the apprentices gasp) Bluestar: Tigerclaw would like to have a word with you, apprentices. Sandpaw: Oh, squirrel tails. Tigerclaw: That is the exact sort of vulgarity that I want you to irradicate from the distinguished camp of ThunderClan. The traditions of the Clan must be upheld and respected, Thunderstar surely-- Firepaw: Kittypet (beep) collar (beep), Tigerclaw! Tigerclaw: What?! Firepaw: You floppy-clawed Twoleg botherer! (everyone stares at him) Graypaw: Smudge's rabies shot. Tigerclaw: Bluestar, I urge you to exile these monsters. Bluestar: Oh, Tigerclaw, let them have their fresh-kill. Tigerclaw: But you're the one that banned the words in the first place! Bluestar: I don't even remember five heartbeats ago. Why are you sulking? Tigerclaw: (walks away, grumbling) Sandpaw: Thank you so much, Bluestar. Bluestar: Alas, you're welcome. Firepaw: Bluestar, you're as old as StarClan, right? Bluestar: Why, yes. Firepaw: Do you know any super ancient, lost to the ages, archaic, olden times Warrior Swears? Bluestar: Uh, well, there is one... Graypaw: I want to hear it! Bluestar: The StarClan Swear! You must never repeat it to anyone. Sandpaw: We won't, Bluestar. Bluestar: Here it is: Your mother is a (beep)ing (beep) crowfood-eating (beep) adder venom (beep)... (the apprentices look at each other) Bluestar: ...Twoleg-loving (beep) cow and horse (beep) believing-in-one-Clan (beep) and Erin Hunter (beep) with a fresh-kill pile of (beep) and an old Tribe cave far away where no one can hear you (beep) sun-drown-place (beep) with a fresh-kill pile of (beep) Tom and Jerry (beep) and the fire that destroyed ThunderClan (beep) medicine cat (beep) and a random act of StarClan! (silence, then...) Graypaw: Woah... Bluestar: Now you know. You must never, ever repeat it. Okay? Firepaw: We promise, Bluestar. (the apprentices are gathered around Ravenpaw) Firepaw, Graypaw, and Sandpaw: Your mother is a (beep)ing (beep) crowfood-eating (beep) adder venom (beep) Twoleg-loving (beep) cow and horse... The End!